An Evening at the Bar
by Yamitron
Summary: Yami Bakura, Marik, Dartz, and Kaiba all go out for a night at the bar. Based on twitter personas. One shot completed. Mentions of Thiefshipping and DartzxSiegfried. Rated for drug and alcohol use and swearing.


**[Author's Note:** This is a day in the life of Bakura, outside of . BakuraRyou is the name, and this is a story of what he says he does when he's not tweeting. Some background information: Bakura's best friends are Dartz and Ryo, and he is dating Malik [going by Marik]. Dartz's best friends are Bakura [whom he jokingly calls Sir Florence, and Bakura calls him Sir Buzz Killington in return], and Kaiba. Dartz is dating Siegfried Von Shroeder. In a spurt of insanity, Kaiba made Bakura Kaiba Corp's Vice-President. Enjoy.]

Bakura typed his goodbye message and hit send. He yawned and reclined in his chair, putting his hands behind his head.

**BakuraRyou** Leaving for the Night- Headed out. Later.

2 minutes ago from web

He waited to actually leave until he made sure the right people saw he was leaving. Within 5 minutes, he got 3 replies telling him goodbye and wishing him a good night. He closed his laptop and stood up; yanking on his trench coat and grabbing his wallet and a bag he had stashed his supplies in.

"Hey, Yami?" He heard from down the hall, near Ryo's room. He turned to the source. "You're leaving?" Ryo asked, poking his head out from the doorframe.

"Yeah. I'm going to a bar I think." Bakura shrugged.

"Oh. Okay then." Ryo said, turning his head back to his own computer.

"You know I'd invite you along, but after the last time I let you have alcohol..." Bakura smirked and Ryo went pink. "I don't think any other inanimate objects would appreciate you biting them until they break." Bakura grinned.

"Oh, shut up, the phone's fixed! But I do agree with you, alcohols and Ryos do not mix well. I'll see you when you get back, okay?" Ryo smiled.

Bakura nodded and headed to the door again. "I may text you or something." He said from the doorframe. He heard a grunt signaling he was heard, and left the apartment.

A few minutes later he was standing outside, on the street corner. It was dusk; the streetlights were just coming on. He stretched, and started down the road, walking to the bar in which he had agreed to meet Dartz. His phone rang the song Come Sail Away, and he stopped, taking it out and looking at it. His phone told him Marik was calling him, so he answered.

"Hello?" He said into the receiver.

"Have you checked... The Children?!" The voice from the phone breathed at him, raspily.

"Marik, I have caller ID. We've been over this. I know it's you." Bakura replied, sounding bored.

"Damn, I always forget." Marik said, verbally pouting for a moment.

Bakura chuckled. "Idiot." Marik laughed. "Was there something you needed, or did you just want to piss me off?" Bakura started walking again. "Because you failed at that, if that was your goal."

"No, no, I wanted to ask you something." Marik replied, sounding normal again. "Are you headed to your bar again, tonight? I saw that you said you were leaving."

Bakura crossed a street, not caring to look both ways. Cars will yield to him, or he'll trash the car, he reasoned. "Yeah, I am. Why?"

"I was just wondering..." Marik sounded a bit awkward. "Do you think I could join you tonight?"

Bakura laughed. "You? Didn't think you liked booze."

"I don't. I'd just like the company tonight." Marik said, still sounding awkward.

"Sure, I'm on my way there now, I'll save you a seat." Bakura chuckled, then hung up. He was almost to the bar now, it wasn't that far from his apartment. He let his thoughts drift aimlessly as he strolled, bar in sight.

He had been to this bar many times. So many in fact, that he needn't even order any more, the food and drink was automatically brought to him when he sat. He, Dartz, and Kaiba were regulars at this bar; everyone in town had at least one story to tell involving these three's antics. On one occasion, Bakura had lit the ends of Dartz's hair on fire and it had taken an hour before he even noticed. On another, Kaiba had cleared the bar by singing karaoke on a drunken dare, driving everyone out. Bakura grinned, wondering what they'd get up to that evening.

He pushed the doors open and everyone turned to look at him. They instantly looked away, with the exception of Dartz, who was beckoning him over with a waving hand from the other side of the bar. Bakura strode over, glaring at random people on his way. He acquired many shifty glares from males, and dreamy ones from females. He paid no mind to either, and plopped himself down in the booth next to Dartz. Kaiba sat on the end, Dartz next to him, then Bakura, and the empty place he was saving for Marik.

"Hey, Sir Florence. Nice to see ya." Dartz said, grinning. Kaiba just grunted in acknowledgement of Bakura's existence.

Bakura snorted. "A good evening to you, Sir Buzz Killington. And Kaiba, talkative as always." He grinned at Kaiba who rolled his eyes back at him.

"Stow it, Limey. I see you enough at the office, no need to make small talk." Seto folded his arms.

"Now, now, Kaiba, be nice to me or I'll stop supplying us all with these lovely, special brownies of mine." Bakura grinned widely and held up the bag he carried. Kaiba smirked and Dartz made to grab the bag. "Not now, Dartz. Later. The night is young."

"Not that I care, but is that your boy toy being attacked over there, Bakura?" Kaiba said, disinterestedly, vaguely gesturing to a mob of girls with someone in the middle.

Bakura laughed and stood, walking over to the mob, hearing Dartz's laughter behind him. He made his way to the gaggle of girls, and sure enough, there was Marik in the center. He was looking very awkward, and attempting to fight his way through as nicely as possible. _Oh, I know how to get them off. _Bakura thought, grinning evilly.

Marik spotted him and with his facial expressions, begged Bakura to save him. "MARIK! There you are!" Bakura said loudly, barging into the middle of the crowd of girls, all squeeing loudly at them both. Marik started to talk to him quietly, telling Bakura to save him, when Bakura wrapped his arm around Marik's waist and kissed him forcefully. Marik went very red, and the girls sighed in unison and dispersed. Bakura stopped and brushed himself off, grinning. "You're welcome." He said to Marik, who was still slightly pink.

"You could have just forced them to leave..." He said, awkwardly, very aware of the stares he was getting.

Bakura laughed. "That's what I did." Marik glared at him. "Oh, like you object. Come on, we've got a table." He led Marik by his wrist to the booth, and slid in again, next to Dartz, making room for Marik next to him.

"That's one way to take care of women." Dartz snorted. "I wouldn't have done it that way, but whatever keeps your nautical vessel afloat..."

"Tch, he liked it." Bakura said, taking a swig from his drink that had come to the table while he was gone. He set the drink down again, and said, still examining the cup, "And I know you took a brownie, Dartz."

"DAMN." Dartz said, banging his fist on the table. "Thought I'd gotten away with it."

"Nice try, douche bag." Bakura smirked. "Nothin' gets by me."

"Evening, Marik. Not meaning to offend, but is there any particular reason you're joining us, this evening?" Dartz asked, addressing Marik for the first time.

"No, not really." Marik answered, sitting comfortably. "I just wouldn't have had anything to do, and I wanted some company." He shrugged.

"Company is overrated." Kaiba said, taking a drink.

"Oh shut up, Kaiba you prick. You know you like us." Dartz elbowed him.

"Mnh, you know, I've got an idea for somethin' we can do tonight, as we have Marik here, too." Bakura said, looking at them all.

"A foursome?" Dartz joked.

"Like I'd let you." Kaiba and Bakura said together.

"Bah, I get laid enough anyway, I don't need you people." Dartz said, huffing into his drink, pretending to be offended.

Bakura snorted. "What I meant was, let's play a shot game." He grinned. " 'Never Have I Ever'. Someone says something they haven't done, and if you have done it, you take a shot. Sound good?" He asked them. They nodded in agreement.

Bakura waved down a waitress and ordered 12 shots be brought to the table. As the waitress brought them, Bakura addressed Kaiba and Marik. "Are you two sure you can handle the liquor? Though, you won't be doing many shots, will you? You're pretty dull." He smirked.

Kaiba flipped him off. "I want a brownie."

"Tch, they're MY brownies, Kaiba. I'll share them when I want." Bakura scoffed.

"Please. I supply you with the pot you need to MAKE the brownies, limey."

"And you wouldn't have them in delicious brownie form if I didn't trick Ryo into making brownies and slipped the pot in it, now would you?" Bakura smirked, folding his arms.

"Limey fruit cake, I will take away your pot privileges." Kaiba snapped.

"Fine, fine." Bakura opened the bag and pulled out a wad of tin foil covered brownies, and sloppily ripped the tin foil off, setting them on the table. Kaiba and Dartz immediately stole one and began eating. Bakura snorted and took one too, offering half to Marik who took it. After they had all devoured their first pot brownie, Dartz said, "Let's get on with it, eh?"

They nodded and Kaiba said the first statement. "I've never stolen an object from a store." Marik and Bakura each took a shot.

"I vote Florence should take more than one shot, he steals a lot." Dartz said, grinning.

"If I took a shot for every thing that I have stolen in 3,000 years, I'd die of alcohol poisoning. And it's fucking impossible for me to die, so piss off." Bakura chuckled, shoving Dartz's shoulder. "Your turn, Sir Buzz Killington."

"Hmmmm...." Dartz said, thinking. "I've never... been told I look stupid on a motorcycle."

"Two for lying." Bakura said, grinning, as Marik took a shot next to him.

"I just want to get Marik drunk. Helpin' you out, buddy o' mine." Dartz said, grinning at Bakura, who shoved him.

"I can get laid all by myself, thank you. Do it quite frequently without your assistance. Why just last night-" He was cut off by Marik smacking him in the back of the head, hissing at him to shut up. Bakura just laughed and said, "My turn."

The shots and rounds went on for some time, until they were all drunk, an hour later. Many empty shot glasses lie strewn about the table, and the brownies had all been eaten, save for the one in Dartz's hand. It was Bakura's turn again.

"I- I've, never.... um... Starred in the season that nobody liked." He said, looking at Dartz. Dartz didn't move, and licked his fingers, getting the last of the brownie off. "Dartz, that's your cue to drink."

"HEY!" Dartz said turning to look at Bakura. "There are too, people who liked my season!"

"No, I agree. There ARE two." Bakura smirked, holding up two fingers. Kaiba and Marik let out drunken laughter.

"Oh you guys are asses." Dartz said, taking a shot.

Marik had closed his eyes and was now snuggling against Bakura, wrapping his arms around one of Bakura's. Bakura sniggered. "Drunkenly affectionate, eh, Marik?" He moved his shoulder, getting Marik's attention.

"Hnh? Mhm..." Marik said, opening one eye, and then going back to snuggling Bakura, with more energy this time.

"Get a room." Kaiba said, waving his half empty glass of wine at them.

"Piss off, how about that?" Bakura smirked at him.

"Good idea." Kaiba said, getting up and heading to the restroom. Bakura snorted.

"Floreeeeeence." Dartz said, leaning against Bakura's other side. "I had a lot of shots and now there are no more shots and I want more shots."

Bakura looked at both men leaning against him and said to himself, "I feel like a mattress."

Dartz snorted and Marik said, "Be my mattress, Kura." He giggled, drunkenly.

"Well. I'd say it's about time for me to call you people taxis..." Bakura said, fishing out his phone. 3 new messages. Oops. He hit 'Read Later' and each of them, and dialed the number he had on speed dial, and ordered 2 taxis. Kaiba can take care of himself.

"I wanna fuck my boyfriend." Dartz pouted.

"Me too." Marik said, half asleep. Bakura and Dartz laughed at him.

"Mm, Dartz, you take care of your skittle love life* when you get home, a taxi is coming in case you forgot. And as for you Marik, you're so drunk, you'd pass out in minutes. So no." He laughed at them both. Marik pouted in Bakura's shoulder.

"I bromance you, Floreeeeeence." Dartz said, nuzzling into Bakura's other shoulder.

Bakura discretely moved Dartz's drink away from him, and awkwardly attempted to pat Dartz's knee. "Mmn, I bromance you too, drunky. You know what, you should go wait for your Taxi outside..."

"Are you trying to get rid of me, Sir Florence Bullshittary?" Dartz asked, sitting up and yawning.

"Absolutely I am. Can't take much more physical contact." They both laughed, and Dartz stood and stretched.

"Where's Kaiba?"

"Hell if I know, go check if he's still in there." Bakura said, shrugging. Dartz shrugged too, and walked to the bathroom, only a little affected by the alcohol.

Marik moaned into Bakura's shoulder, and Bakura nudged him with his nose. "You need to get home. Need me to carry you to your car?"

Marik nodded, and Bakura chuckled. He dropped money on the table, which he had stolen from Dartz earlier, and shimmied his way out of the other side of the booth, leaving Marik sitting there. He walked around to Marik again, and scooped one of his arms under Marik's legs, and the other wrapped around his shoulders, supporting him. Marik closed his eyes and nuzzled his head into Bakura's chest, sighing. Bakura bit back a chuckle, and carried Marik outside.

The two cars were there, waiting for them. Bakura opened the backseat door to one of them with one of his hands, and set Marik down in it. He fished more money out of his pocket and handed it to the driver, giving him Marik's address. "He's pretty drunk, so I wouldn't listen to him if he starts giving you a different address or something." Marik had given the taxi drivers Bakura's address a few times, in a last effort to get what he wanted. Bakura laughed under his breath at the memory of a drunk Marik at his door, showing up half naked and jumping on him.

"G'bye Marik, I'll see you later." He grinned, leaning down and licking Marik's cheek. Marik drunkenly giggled, and Bakura closed the door, tapping the window twice. The car pulled out and started speeding away.

"So Kaiba's passed out on the floor." Dartz's voice came from behind Bakura. He turned and saw Dartz stumbling out of the door.

Bakura laughed loudly. "Serves the bastard right, he was being a kill joy."

Dartz nodded. "And usually that's my job!" He snorted and opened his cab door, climbing inside. "You know, I have people for this, shouldn't've let you call and pay for it." Dartz said, yawning.

"Oh it's no problem at all. Here, you'll be needing this." Bakura tossed Dartz's wallet back at him, and before Dartz could say more then, "HEY-" Bakura tapped the glass twice, and Dartz's car pulled away.

Bakura decided to leave Kaiba in the bathroom, and started strolling towards his house. As his pocket vibrated again, he remembered the 3, now 4, text messages he had yet to read.

"Are you at the bar yet?"

"Don't get drunk and do stupid things okay? I haven't the money for bail...Again..."

"Yamiiii, answer me. What's happening?"

"I'm getting worried that you've died in a gutter somewhere, answer me!!"

4 texts, each about an hour and a half apart, save for the last two. Bakura checked the time; it was about one in the morning. He continued his walk home, crossing the street without looking, and texted Ryo back.

"I'm leaving now. Sorry I didn't respond, I had two drunk guys on me." He grinned and hit send, wondering what his Hikari's reaction to that was going to be. He walked in the dark, his trench coat blowing in the wind behind him. He knew he was drunk, but he was lucid enough to know what he was doing. Bakura held his hand up in front of his face, and chuckled at how white it looked in the dark. Of course, that may have been due to his pot brownie consumption and inebriation.

His phone buzzed at him again, and he opened it and read the message inside. "What?! I order you to come home so I can nag at you!" Bakura laughed out loud and looked ahead. He could see the apartment, so he wasn't going to respond.

He opened the door to the room a few minutes later, shaking off his coat and carelessly discarding it on the floor.

"Yami?" Ryo's voice sounded from their living room. Bakura grinned, having an idea. He decided to act like he was really drunk, to see what Ryo would do. He walked into the living room, staggering.

Ryo was sitting on the couch, a book on his lap, and a half gone cup of tea next to him. He looked up at Bakura's entrance, put his bookmark in the book, and stood up. He eyed Bakura nervously, but walked over and hugged him anyway. Bakura hugged him back.

"Mind explaining to me what the heck that text was about?" Ryo asked, stepping back and looking his Yami over, deciding if he was too drunk for conversation or not.

Bakura chuckled internally. "Well, my drunk partner was on my left, trying to get in my pants, and my other drunk best friend was on my right, just bein' drunk. Kaiba was busy being high and passing out on bathroom floors." Bakura laughed.

Ryo wrinkled his nose. "Well you smell just awful. I smell alcohol, and marijuana, and.... brownies for some reason." Bakura bit his lip to keep from laughing. "You should go to bed."

"But Ryoooooooooo." Bakura said, feigning drunkenness. "I'm not tireeeeeed." He fell forward, onto Ryo, tackling him and pinning him to the ground with his weight. Ryo squeaked and flailed, trying to get Bakura off of him.

"Yami! Get off!!" Ryo pushed at Bakura. "You weigh a ton, I can't breathe!"

Bakura whined and got up in favour of sitting on the sofa where Ryo had been sitting a minute ago. Ryo got up and sat next to him.

"How much did you drink?"

Bakura counted on his fingers. "Uhmmm.... 8 shots? Maybe more?" Ryo's eyes widened. "No wait, 10, plus lots and lots of pot brownies...." Bakura grinned vacantly.

Ryo grabbed Bakura by the shirt and shook him. "YOU. ARE GOING. TO DIE!!" He screamed in Bakura's face, shaking him in time to his words.

Bakura laughed hysterically. "Already done, Ryo. I've already died."

Ryo glared at him. "Ha-ha-ha. I know you have, you don't need to constantly bring it up!"

Bakura chuckled and leaned against Ryo. He yawned and put his arm around his hikari, and promptly fell asleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Bakura regained consciousness a few hours later, somehow back in his own bed. He could only assume Ryo had dragged him there, judging by the bruise he felt on his back. He chuckled and stretched, then immediately clutched his head in his hands. He moaned. _What a god awful hangover..._ he thought.

He peeked at the clock next to him. 9:30 am. He grunted. This meant that Ryo left already for his job, and he was late for his own. Bakura smirked to himself, thinking of what Kaiba's reaction to being left on the floor might be.

Bakura got out of bed, pocketing his phone and taking his shirt off. His shirt smelled like liquor and it was making his headache worse. He slowly made his way to his laptop and opened it, not sitting down. He posted one single entry to Twitter before stumbling out into the kitchen.

**BakuraRyou** Huge bloody hangover... Ugh. Going in to the office soon.

less than 5 seconds ago from web

He gripped the doorframe to steady himself, and moaned as the lights hit his eyes. He shielded himself from the offending brightness, and turned the lights off with his free hand. Bakura looked around the kitchen; he could smell coffee, and damn that sounded good right about now. There was a cup of coffee waiting for him on the table and he grinned to himself. Bakura popped it in the microwave, as it had gotten cold from sitting out so long.

Bakura ran a hand through his hair, distractedly. He was pretty late for work, but hey, he could afford to be late. The microwave dinged at him, and he took it out, savouring the smell and warmth emanating from it.

No sooner did he take his first sip when his phone rang. He cursed and set the cup down, taking out his phone. He looked at the Caller ID; Kaiba Corp. Bakura grinned and answered the phone. "Y'ello?"

"YOU. ARE. DEAD!"

-Bakura

*skittle love life- Little Kuriboh's Evil Council of Doom 3, Dartz's hair changes colour. We [by 'we' I mean I] call him SkittleHead.


End file.
